Event Plan - Naming Challenging Behaviour
While co-planning an event for a community wanting to do a preliminary exploration of behaviour perceived as disrespectful in the community, I used the following spread
with the co-planners to explain what felt like the key patterns that needed to be involved.
Invitation: The invitation to the community had to be framed in such a way that encouraged Whole System in the Room: rather than describing behaviour as "bullying",
"breaking agreements", or "policy vigilantism" (each of which would capture one viewpoint on the issues involved), we spent time developing a framing around
Holding Space / Appropriate Boundaries: We recognized the importance of setting up an extremely strong space & boundaries to allow experiences that people had
challenges bringing to the community forward (Story). Because the community was one in which names tended to be avoided, we determined it would be best to
actively and explicitly encourage naming of the issues, the people, and the experiences (with judgments appropriately unpacked)
Taking Responsibility: Rather than engaging in blaming and judgment around any of the stories told, we worked to develop a process that would encourage unpacking
the judgments into observations and feelings (in an NVC way), inviting each person to take ownership of their own judgments and feelings, and looking towards what
positive steps we as a community could take.
Transparency: The intention was to bring back the results of this event to the whole community, meaning we wanted to set up a clear understanding around confidentiality:
judgments wouldn't be communicated, but the observable behaviours and the feelings they engendered in others would be reported back to the group.
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