Norms

Below is an evolving list of norms for GPLP work.

Calls & Events

• ​Please RSVP for calls & events you have been invited to participate in.
• If you have to cancel, please provide as much advance notice as possible.
• Be prepared for the call/event--if there is material to review, try to review it beforehand. If you have material to put out, do so early and give people enough advance warning that they can review it.
• Do your best to be in on time at the start.
• If you're going to have to leave the call/event early, let us know as early as possible. 
• If you come in late on a call, please listen long enough to get up to speed on the current conversation before jumping in.
• If you are in a noisy location and joining a call, be mindful. Mute when you aren't talking.

Tasks

• In communications around tasks with anyone in GPLP, remember that we are a volunteer organization that runs on the good will of our volunteers.
• Try to review your task list regularly, and keep it at least roughly prioritized (project priorities at the top, personal projects lower).
• Please do your best to avoid pledging to tasks or timelines that aren't realistic.
• Feel free to ask for help if you get stuck on something.  If you need to drop a task, let the others know.

Process

• We have agreed not to attempt processing of negative feelings via email.  Pick up the phone or talk in person. 
• When conveying needs attached to strong feelings, we try to first share the feelings, and perhaps allow space for that to be heard before moving on to the request/need.
• We recognize that our involved people have a range of response/desire around feedback.  Offering appreciation for work done and then pausing is likely to be well-received.  Being proactive in asking for what you prefer regarding feedback on specific occasions may be helpful. We have no agreements regarding accepting or avoiding feedback, rather we share an understanding that this is an area of occasional challenge that calls on both parties to stretch as best they can and sometimes live with discomfort. 

Personal Preferences for Receiving Critical Feedback

TREE: If you are upset with me, dealing with it in person is best, and phone is also fine.  It's fine to try calling even without an appointment (in general my most available phone times are M-F 11am-6pm).  If you don't reach me it's fine to leave a message as long as it's a "clean" invitation/request and not charged in tone.  Similarly on email, a request to check in is ok.  Email with any kind of negative tone or charge feels actively disrespectful to me, so don't do it.  If you are upset with me during an in-person meeting, i'd prefer to discuss that one-on-one than in the group, but am willing to do the latter if that's better for you, especially with some notice and a sense of safe container.  I welcome facilitation (including "outside" facilitation) in personal or group conflicts.

SUE: If you are upset with me and/or have any kind of process concern, I'd appreciate hearing about it as soon as possible.  Any medium is fine for communicating your concern and desire to talk, though I prefer real time (face to face or telephone) for the actual conversation.  When initially communicating your upset I would like to know right away the basic shape, level of upset, and what it is that you're looking for, so that I know some essentials while we're finding a time to connect live.  I appreciate two way upsets being handled outside of the group (even if they originate in the group), though I also see a place for the group to hold space for exploring/resolving upsets that may be as much about a group dynamic that could benefit the whole to focus on collectively.

DAVE: (1) If you're upset with me as a result of something that's happened in a face-to-face or voice-to-voice meeting, please let me know (if possible) immediately why you are upset and (if possible) what you would propose to resolve the issue, ideally in an actionable way that doesn't tie up a lot of group time. If I'm upset with you, I will try to respect your norms but often find if I sleep on my upset it disappears, so I will walk the line -- if my upset is visible and I decline to discuss it, or in exceptional cases absent myself, it's because I am genuinely concerned that addressing it immediately could lead to needless worsening of distress or conflict, even though I know that immediate resolution may be your norm and strong preference. (2) If you're upset with me as a result of something that I wrote or did outside a real-time meeting or call, please see me or phone me as soon as reasonably practicable, and please do not convey your concern by e-mail or other text medium, particularly in a message to the whole group. If you want it discussed among the whole group I'll respect that, but in this case please raise it at or schedule it for the next practicable voice-to-voice or face-to-face meeting. If I'm upset about something that's happened as a result of something you said or did outside of a real-time meeting or call, I will respect your norms but will almost always sleep on it and then, if still upset, promptly call you by phone if I can't visit in person. (3) I do sometimes talk with others (inside or outside the group) about my upsets before talking with the person I'm upset with, but I ask you to trust me that I only do this to gain clarity and/or to rehearse what I'd like to say/do, and not to grouse, back-stab or stir up other people to 'take sides'. (4) I also acknowledge that I am inept at facilitating other group members' upsets with each other, so I find dealing with such upsets in a group session uncomfortable and distressing, but will respect others' desire to have such group sessions on occasion if that is their norm and will participate as I can, as long as not a lot is expected of me.

DANIEL: Similar to Sue, if there's an issue I like to know about it as soon as possible, whether through face to face, phone, email or some other mode of communication. Often I need a little bit of time to process, so letting me know the details of your concern up-front is good. I'm usually open to hearing you right in the moment, but may want to return to the issue at a later time once I've had time to process. Usually I'm fine soring things out one on one, but I'm fine with facilitated conversations, and may on occasion request a third party if it feels like it would be useful either as a facilitator or witness.

CHRISTOPHERA: I respond pretty positively to immediate feedback, even if negative, even if public, in any medium (email, phone, F2F), as long as there are not strong emotions involved, i.e. the fact of something that bugs you should  trumps any fear that you might hurt my feelings — I prefer things caught early rather then fester. However, if something I say or do feels personal directed to you or we have a larger emotional stake in the issue, I prefer a real-time (Skype or a phone call) conversation. I'm not big on processing problems in groups unless it is truly a group problem. I love the Disney/Pixar tradition of "plussing" — you only comment on someone elses work if a) they ask for comments b) you have something to offer as an alternative,  c) you can be only be negative about the results of the work, not the work itself, nor the person doing the work.